The last few weeks have been filled with lots of anxiety, stress, ups and downs. This week is the culmination of it all. Today is meet and greet at the local public school elementary where Isaac is enrolled. I feel like I just sold my kid to the devil. I know I shouldn't make such a big deal out of this, but I can't help it. I have had so many impressions and inspiration about this child and how to best educate him, and now I feel like I'm just turning my back on the last 2 years and putting him in robot school.
My heart is heavy. I just don't know what to do at this point. I guess I can always pull him out, and homeschool him again. I wanted to read The Highly Sensitive Child before he went to school, but I only on the first chapter. I guess I'll be spending a few nights up crunching it, just in case my assumptions are correct.
I know there are plenty of kids who go through the public school system and do just fine. I know education wise he'll be just fine, if not bored with the cookie cutter subjects. I'm still planning on after schooling, so I know he's getting the education he needs to have. Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't I just be like any other mom, who celebrates going to school as a crucial rite of passage, and most importantly a break from children. Aside from playing for 30 minutes with new friends, I just don't see the good in this.
It's 9 am. I have to be at school at 11. I'm hoping I can be strong enough to not have a melt down while I'm there and most of all pretend that I'm excited for Isaac. After having to convince him that this will be good, now I have to convince myself. I have to do it, for him....
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