The Cup I've Been Given.

At 3:45 this morning I was wide awake. I'm not sure if it's because I'm excited for the day or depressed because of what happened yesterday. Certainly I'm at fault and I have no reason or desire to hide that. I'm still human and I get hurt and defensive too.

In the book Girls On The Edge, author Dr. Leonard Sax talks about the difficulties of our age involving girls. He mentions that one of them is obsession. Girls are obsessed with different things thus some may have a weight/anorexia obsession, others may have a school/grades obsession, sports/competitive obsession, and I found out I have my own. Actually I was reminded I have my own, I already knew I had this problem. A few people in my life have doubted me, my capacity for achieving and accomplishing goals. You can tell it's an obsession because I talk about it a lot. My obsession is to prove them wrong. I've been labeled lazy, quitter, disorganized, unmotivated by many throughout my life.

Because of this, I'm obsessed with starting something and finishing it, with doing my best, with being a perfectionist. Sometimes I feel like my efforts go unnoticed, unappreciated. Like all the time I spend on my children educating them, disciplining them, nursing them back to sleep countless nights in the last 5 years, healing them when I am in need of healing, taking care of them every minute of the day means nothing. Sometimes it feels like I have to fight and pull teeth to get anything done. When I get burned out (which happens very often) there's no remedy for my soul and aching body.

That's when usually a gentle nub, reminds me of Someone greater than me, far more important than me, who understands my plight, who has suffered more than I have. Although my mission is somewhat muddy in my eyes, I understand it and I accept it. But His mission was crystal clear and he also accepted it with faith unwavering. Watching the new video the LDS Church has put out on Christ's atonement, brings everything into perspective. It gives me comfort that MY time is not yet at hand. I'm not quite done with my work. As Christ says "My Father hath given me this cup, shall not drink it?", I too have been given a cup and have chosen with all my free will to take it and drink it. My cup is nothing like his cup, could I even dare to compare it to one drop of his blood? ...Nope.

My problems shrink and disappear in front of the massive and infinite atonement He suffered for all of us. His example will forever remind me of what unconditional love means. It doesn't suffice to say it or feel it, it sufficeth to act on it no matter the circumstance. There's no muscle growth unless there is muscle exhaustion. There's no gain without some or a lot of pain.

I will keep trying to be even as He is.

At-one-ment

Juice Day 4.

Man this is hard. I've had no motivation to eat all that the reboot tells me to eat. I haven't had one soup, I've had a couple of salads, but mainly I stick to juice. It's so much easier. However, last night I had to leave in a hurry for Time Out For Women and ended up having a PB&J sandwich. How can a person love eating salad, but hate preparing them? I need to change. This juice thing is just the part of the metamorphosis for this year. And, it seems to me the clear issue here is that I don't take the time to take care of myself.

I'm not very high maintenance: I don't always care to have the latest fashions, I don't care about make up, I don't wash my face and put night cream on, I don't know how to do my hair besides curling it or putting it up in a pony tail. If anything takes more than 5 minutes to do, I don't care for it. It seems to me I don't care much about  anything.  I think I'm perceiving that things just need to change so that I can feel and be a better person.

I think my mom's health issue is still digesting in my brain. I have the determination to do things, but I do too much and end up burning out. It's time to start prioritizing, letting go of getting everything done all the time, relax a bit more and de-stress, and enjoy learning how to take care of myself.  SO DANG HARD.....

So today is day 4. I actually was craving a salad today so I made myself one, but not from the list just from what was in the fridge that would take less than 5 minutes to make. Bella helped me eat it. I think being in Utah next week, I'll enlist my mom to make the salads while I make the juices. That will help me to stay more focused on all that I have to eat....

On a happy note it looks like I've lost 2 lbs. I'm also noticing that I'm not suffering as badly from spring allergies, my immune system must be getting stronger. Yay for cleaning out my cells of inflammation and  toxicity!!

Juice Day 3.

Day 3 went by really well. Nothing but feeling great. I don't know if it's just the feeling of putting awesomeness into my body or if it's the actual nutrients making me feel this way. Still feeling skinny, especially around my waist. I'm starting to wonder if my suspicions of being allergic to wheat are real. I've felt "skinny" before when I just happen to not eat wheat products. But this time I'm feeling much skinnier, and it's probably due to no wheat consumption. I'll have to see how I feel once I introduce wheat back into my diet.

Carrots + oranges + tomatoes + purple cabbage. 

I'm scared of having the raw soup. Not because it's raw, but because I'm not a fan of cold food at all. Unless it's salad or dessert...I guess I'll try it today, if I can't stand it all I'll have to do is heat it up.  Yesterday I tried purple cabbage juice, I think part of enjoying the juice is enjoying the fresh and bright colors the veggies produce. :)

Juice Day 2.

Day 1 was good. I've been eating better for the last 10 days, trying to avoid gluten and protein.  The first week was tough I started to feel tired, but it was only for 3 days then my energy picked up. Now as I start the real juice fast I'm already feeling clean inside. Feeling skinny, if it's possible to feel that way.

Can't wait to see how I feel at the end, I hope I can keep going until I get to Utah next week. Woohoo!

Juicy.

Two weeks ago I watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. I love documentaries! Especially ones about health. That's when I decided I had to try juicing. Sounds kind of weird saying that I'm juicing. I feel like a pro athlete juicing up on steroids, ha!

So I went out and bought a juicer and started trying it out. I threw together whatever I felt like would taste decent, and much to my surprise the greens flavors or bitterness are totally masked by fruits. I'm in love. I was supposed to start my 5 day juice fast last Friday, but my juicer broke on Saturday. I went nuts. I have gone 4 days without juice and I'm craving them. I would never think your body would crave the healthy stuff like I've been. But it's happening.

My new juicer is here and it promises to be much better than the last one. It should be, for its price tag. I just hope it lasts as long as our Vitamix blender has: 8 years and counting...

While I was trying out concoctions, here are some pictures of what I was up to:

This was my first juice, I know I had kale and orange but don't remember much. It was ok.

It can get pretty expensive to juice if you do it all the time. I think Mike and I will do a 3 to 5 day juice fast once a month. Or.. just have one juice a day within our normal diet. I seriously don't know why it took me so long to consider this. This fits perfectly into my life plan, it fits perfectly into the word of wisdom. I worry so much about my kids, and feeding them only the best possible food. This is seriously Heaven sent.

This one was my all-time favorite so far: red beets, carrots, apples, kale, spinach, oranges.

As we've been trying new flavors, this beet one has been awesome for the kids too. They've enjoyed it just as much. Bella thought it was blood, but was courageous enough to take a sip and kept asking for more.They get really excited to help because they love watching the food be smashed into smithereens.

This is what my all-time favorite looks like unblended, I simply love the colors. It makes me feel like I'm going to paint.

We made one the other day that they just loved: oranges, apples, spinach, and strawberries. It was perfectly sweet for the kids. Talk about a great way to get all their servings of fruit and veggies in on a daily basis.

This is all the went into the juice below. Very tasty.

 Who needs vitamins?  Just kidding I'd still take vitamins, but this is seriously the best form of getting all your nutrients. Fresh goodness!

I know green is not necessarily what we're using to drinking, but it seriously tastes so yummy and it has made me feel so good knowing that all that raw freshness was going directly into my veins.

This is what my fridge looks like. All that food cost me about $90. It'll last me 3-5 days. It's definitely not something to do everyday, it does get expensive. But once a month, not an issue.

I'm in love with juicing. Today I start my official 5 day juice fast. I can't wait to see how I feel in 5 days. I'll be going up to Utah in a week and depending on how things go I'll extend the fast to 10 days. I've already got my brother to do it with me once I get there.  I think my mom and dad will do it too. It'll be just like when dad would make us freshly squeezed orange papaya juice back home in Brazil.

Project #4.

So this morning Mike and I were at it again, nicely discussing something about our new bathroom that we disagree on. That reminded and motivated me to post pictures of the results. So here's what our bathroom looked like before the remodel.

I thought I had more pictures of it. I guess I'll explain that on the left across from the sinks, was a closet with sliding mirrored doors with brass trim, white carpet on the floor and through the door was the toilet and 2-piece shower/tub combo. The shower head was at about 5'7" so both Mike and I had to squat in order to put our head all the under the shower head. Yeah, fun......

First thing that had to go was the wall in between the shower and the sinks. As much as it would be lovely to have a water closet enclosed in its cozy little room, we just didn't have the space. And opening up the exterior wall to add another 3 feet to the bathroom just really wasn't an option.

Second thing to go was the weird closet. I do miss having a full length mirror, but I'll be adding one to the bedroom. Not wanting to lose the storage space, I planned for two towers and some more base cabinets which gave us more storage area than we actually had with the old closet. To keep the tight space from feeling claustrophobic, I'm adding a mirror on the wall above the base cabinets.

See where the blue tape is? There will be a framed mirror spanning the 4 feet width between the two towers. I chose limestone for the floors, and was able to find a killer deal on a lighter grey limestone for the countertop. It even has fossils on it, the kids love looking at it. It goes really well with the grey limestone on the floor.

So instead of having a tight shower/tub combo, we opted for a very spacious walk-in steam shower. We are loving having space to shower and not having to squat to get our heads under!
I have a friend who always asks me where I get all these unique pieces or materials. Nothing special, I just look and look, and look a LOT! I got both my mosaic glass and limestone tiles at Home Depot. I also got my shower on Amazon.com and thank goodness for Amazon Prime that lets me get all the free shipping my little heart desires. The shower is actually from AKDY, but it is sold on Amazon. My sink faucets were also from Amazon and my cabinets are Ikea. Yep, you read right. Ikea makes the coolest modern cabinets for those who are value oriented.  You could also get the same type of cabinets (also made in Europe) and spend tens of thousands on them!

So...to get to what Mike and I don't agree, here's another picture.

Mike and I disagree that we should have a garbage can in this spot or anywhere in bathroom where it will be seen. I will not say who thinks what, but I will say that Mike thinks I'm wrong and that any interior designer would say so. What do YOU think?