"I will commence my journey unencumbered with either the weight of unnecessary knowledge or the handicap of meaningless experience."
As I read this sentence it hit me like a ton of bricks. In order for me to commence in the path of my Personal Legend I realized I need to be unencumbered. Quickly the thought of came to me that I have already lived a life unencumbered, except for one thing: I really need to live the meaning of Namasté. And, in order to do so I need to love everyone and see their divine. That was my encumbrance. When I believe myself to be right about something and someone wrongs me without perceived cause, I have been very prone to putting up a wall as big and invincible as the Wall of China between that person and me. That wall can only be removed if they person admits their wrong and acknowledges my right. I remember doing that for the first time with my best friend when I was 11 years old, and I have done it ever since and have felt no regrets. Yesterday I realized that I needed to remove this encumbrance otherwise I could not move as fast and productively as I wish. My first instinct was to fight and stand my ground, feeling completely justified that I am right and therefore my decisions are just.
But as it always happens, one doesn't truly learn lessons until one is ready to accept them, milk before meat. I was about to spend the rest of my life encumbered, and unaware that I wasn't maximizing all profits in my journey. When the thought first came I ignored it, later while finishing up Aspire yesterday afternoon, the thought came back to me at a moment of emotional vulnerability as I let myself be taught by the last principle of Kevin's book. A light turned on, and I realized that feeling right is relative. If one is taken by self deception, a concept that is very hard to accept but essential to personal development, one will always feel justified. I realized that I had been justifying not fully forgiving because I felt I was in the right. Then another etherial thought hit me: "You feel this way because someone wronged you, and they feel and act they do because they feel wronged by YOU!" Ouch. Talk about a slap in the face. It had been a few weeks since I had one of these. That's when I realized I had some weight on my shoulders I didn't know was there. The weight was gone instantly as I was made aware that I had some culpability. All of a sudden a moment of empathy happened: I could understand why a person could offend another repeatedly. It's not just a way of defending themselves by attacking back, nor just the mere desire to seek revenge. We all have a desire to be loved and respected, and sometimes we may offend someone who has offended us in hopes that the first offender realizes and acknowledges their error. After all, the first mistake was the catalyst for all the future offenses.
And if that is what a person wants in the bottom of their hearts and subconscious, who am I to deny that? Who am I to say "No, YOU don't deserve it!" I know the only person that could possibly say that would NEVER say that, so why should I? That was an amazing experience to me. I can feel the encumberance disappearing, and it doesn't matter if the person doesn't reciprocate the feeling. It needs to start with me, reactions to my actions are not my problem, they concern only those who are reacting. I can only control my own actions, and have a talk with myself to make sure I did all I could to act in the correct way. I feel like I pressed the LIFT UP button. When experts talk about the change starting within you, they are right! I'm grateful for the experiences to learn and remove all encumbrances from my path.
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