Self-reliance or Dependence

Main Entry:	independence
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	liberty, freedom
Synonyms:	ability, aptitude, autarchy, autonomy, home rule, license, qualification, self-determination, self-government, self-reliance, self-rule, self-sufficiency, separation, sovereignty
Antonyms:	dependence, subordination

In my scriptures studies today, I was reading Mosiah 4: King Benjamin's "general conference talk" to his people. Some of the verses struck me, because of one of my conflicts within. Imparting to the poor is something I don't do very well. I'm 100% guilty, I judge plentifully. No reason in justifying that I've been poor, and no longer am, because I worked hard to achieve what I call success. Yes, I am very proud of it, and mostly because most of the people dear and close to me, have all doubted what I was able to accomplish.(yet another conflict within, of which I'm growing detached from)

Needless to say poor is a loaded word. I, at different times and sometimes altogether, have been financially poor, spiritually poor, emotionally and psychologically poor. Sometimes all of this happened because of others, most of the time because of myself allowing external and internal factors to let this happen to me. I'm sure when King Ben speaks of the poor, he means these same attributes I've at some point called my own.

The hard part of helping to me is the wide and gradient "gray" line of helping vs. enabling. I simply can't see where the line is drawn. Today I think I may have hit a point, which I don't like, which I have to come to grips with within myself. That's why it is a conflict within. No one specific human can help me besides myself, only the Almighty can instill within me a sense of peace about the subject. I shared with others, and experienced myself, the almost coveting eyes of people. Whether those eyes are innocent or not, I know not. I only know I've been privy to others experiences as well as mine. It is hard and harsh not to judge. Hard because it's human to do so, and harsh because it's not fair to be expected to not judge when you are being depleted of benevolence.

I have found the answer to this issue which has been a stumbling block to me. But like many of the deep universal truths, it is not easily accepted, because it requires change and a lot of it. Simply put, this is what I got out of King Ben's talk: No matter what, you should always help those in need. It is your duty. If you have, you must give. If the needy take advantage of you, so be it, they will have their consequences. You Do, and think nothing of doing. On the other hand, I asked God, what about them?

In reply to this answer, the best I got was that the needy have their responsibility to: 1. Realize they need help, 2. Seek or ask for help, 3. If there's no one willing to help, do your best to figure out how to help yourself. This does not apply to food, shelter and clothing alone. This applies to every aspect of life, even their own conflicts, even their own battles and urges to take the easier path. Strive and struggle to learn, it's their responsibility to do so. There are plenty of examples in our life time, Liz Murray for one.

So where does that leave us? It leaves us with internal struggle. That's why we live, to continue to struggle and become better, and let go of whatever it is we're all holding on to, whether it be pride, the thirst to be glorified by men, the desperation of being loved by one, or by oneself. Continue in your struggle, and accept it and try to detach from it. As you detach you empower yourself and strengthen the heartstrings. That's all there's to it.